The Bachelor: Chris Soules “Prince Farming” Premiere RECAP

Even for a Bachelor fan such as myself, THREE HOURS for a premiere is a bit much.  Chris Harrison is live from the Red Carpet of the premiere with dozens of screaming girls around him.  I don’t mind them changing it up a bit, but I find the red carpet a bit annoying.

Chris Soules gives us some background on himself and his 6,000 acre farm in Iowa.  As he speaks, he’s so monotone!  I sure hope this changes up as it goes on or I’m going to fall asleep.  I love Chris, he’s a great, nice, handsome man, but he’s coming across very dull.  Put some feeling into your words, man!  Cody makes an appearance training Chris, getting him buffed up to be the next Bachelor.  (If you’re wondering if Cody and Michelle Money are still together, here’s the scoop )

Wait, what?!  There’s a countdown clock… 58 minutes to the first limo arriving.  What?!  What are we doing for the next hour?!  Omg I can’t take a whole hour of this red carpet nonsense.

Sean Lowe and Catherine talk to Chris Harrison… blah blah blah.  Love them, happy for them, let’s move on.

(48 minutes till first limo)

Marcus and Lacy, who fell in love on Bachelor in Paradise, join Chris Harrison to be interviewed… still engaged, planning the wedding.

(42 minutes left)

A look at the Bachelorettes vying for Chris Soules heart.  Britt, 27, waitress in L.A.,  reveals it’s been three years since her last relationship.  During that relationship they didn’t have sex at all.  She said it was an interesting thing, she knew exactly how she felt about him without sex being involved.

 

 

Jillian, 25, National News Producer  in D.C.  She lifts heavy weights in the gym, very competitive.

 

 

 

Amanda, ballet instructor, 24, Illinois.  Very perky.  Lives at home with her mom because she doesn’t like to pay bills, cook, or clean, so her mom does all of that.

 

 

 

Whitney, 29, fertility nurse, Chicago, IL, has a really high pitch, annoying voice.  Sorry Whitney, you can’t help it girl, but it’s a bit much.

 

 

 

Makenzie, 21, Dental Assistant, and has a very little boy.  She is far too young for Chris!

 

 

 

 

Alissa, 24, New Jersey, Flight Attendant.  Very positive, but maybe a little too bubbly.  Seems a bit immature.

 

 

 

Kelsey, 28, Austin, TX, school counselor, became a widow about a year and a half ago when her husband just dropped dead one day.  She seems quite mature.  Her late husband was 42 years old, so she’s used to older men.  Oh and she’s also from West Michigan originally which is where I am from, so I’m naturally rooting for her (for now at least).

 

Back at the red carpet, Andi and Josh get interviewed by Chris Harrison.  They don’t have a wedding date yet, but nice to see they’re still together.

(20 minutes till limo)

Chris H is now interviewing Nikki Ferrel who “won” Juan Pablo’s heart, sorta.  Nikki says they both tried really hard, but they’re just two different people and it wasn’t working out… different priorities, different lifestyles.  She’s very nervous and keeps saying “I mean, like… I mean, you know…”  She felt like she was never his first or even his seventh priority.  She seems genuinely happy and not like the pouty girl on Couples Therapy that was constantly sad at Juan Pablo all the time.  Chris just keeps digging at her to say something bad about him, and kudos to her for trying to rise above and not trash talk him.  Nice try though, Chris.

Now in the studio, still live, we’re FINALLY going to get the real premiere going!

More behind the scenes with Chris and him getting ready to be The Bachelor.  New clothes, getting groomed, photo shoot, etc.  Still monotone, but the shower scene ain’t bad.

Enter, first limo!!!

Britt is the first one out of the limo wearing a black and silvery dress.  She hugs him for a long time and begins to cry.  “I’m so happy it’s you!” She gives him a little note and tells him he has to come find her and she’ll explain what it means.  The note says “Free Hug from Britt.”  Seems pretty self explanatory to me!

Whitney is the next one out and very giggly, she tells him she wouldn’t be there if it weren’t him that was there.

Kelsey is the next wearing a beautifully blue dress.

Megan, make-up artist from Nashville, TN.  Chris says as she walks away “this is not going to be easy.”

Ashley, drop dead GORGEOUS comes out, Chris seems extra smitten with her.  She tells him “I’m not going to tell you see you later, I’m going to say I’ll TALK to you later!”

Reegan, 28, donated tissue specialist, comes out carrying a cooler.  She explains to him that she sells human tissue and opens up the cooler and there’s a HEART in there.  But she says it’s not real.

 

 

Tara comes out wearing a flannel shirt, shorts, and cowboy boots.  She said “this is me.”   The girls FLIP out when she walks in.  Their jaws just drop.  Tara tells in her interview she felt out of place.  You think?!  So then she changes into a dress and makes her way to the front again to sneak up on Chris and come out again.  She even sneaks in the limo!  Just strange.

 

The limo driver hands Chris a note, he nods and says “hmm… okay…”  and then it cuts to commercial!  “Chris, please turn away from the limo and close your eyes.” So with his eyes closed, out walks Amanda who sneaks up behind him and says that since he was Andi’s secret admirer last season, he deserves to have one too.  So she sneaks away inside without him ever seeing her.

Jillian shows off her muscles to Chris.  Not sure that’s going to win him over.

Ashley S comes out and she has a crazy look in her eyes.  She doesn’t blink or something.  It’s very strange.  She puts a lucky penny in the sole of his shoes.

 

 

 

Kaitlyn walks out and says “I know your name is Chris, and you’re a farmer.  And I uhh… you can plow the fuck out of my field any day.”  Chris just stands there in complete silence with a smile on his face like “whaaaaat?”  She’s a little spitfire for sure.  As she walks away he says “didn’t see that coming!”

 

There’s only 15 girls there at this point and Chris is under the impression that’s all that’s coming.  Little does he know, there’s still 15 more coming.  So Kaitlyn breaks the ice by telling a joke, “Why did the Walrus go to a Tupperware party?” punchline “Because he wanted to find a tight seal.”  Girls’ jaws just drop.  Hahaha… loving this season!!

Britt gets to speak to Chris first and explains the “Free Hugs” note…. she said that a wife, a girlfriend, is a safe haven.  Someone that you can come to at the end of the day and will give you a hug and makes you feel safe.  Chris is really drawn to her, you can tell.  They had an amazing spark!  I think Britt is for sure a front runner and I like her too.

Chris H comes out with the first impression rose.  The girls begin freaking out because they also think there’s only 15 women there.

Amanda admits that she is the secret admirer and her eyes are totally bugging out.  Best live tweet ever comes from ABC Exec Robert Mills @millsy11374

Totally cracks me up!

Back to the show… Chris H just walked in, he’s stealing Chris S for a minute, they walk outside…. he tells him there’s another limo pulling up right now!  Girls go into freak out mode again.

The claws come out as the second round of girls come out of the limos.  The first set of girls are just cranky!

Alissa walks up with a seatbelt from an airplane and tells him it’s going to be a bumpy ride and she puts the seatbelt around him.

The second round of girls have more props and gimmicks and the first round of girls are being very judgy and catty about it.

Carly comes out singing with a cheesy karaoke machine.  It’s pretty terrible!

 

 

 

Chris is getting completely overwhelmed as the final ladies come out.

He now enters the house where a total of 30 women are standing, giggling, and flipping their hair.

Kaitlyn tried to teach Chris how to break dance.  He says he’s really impressed by her and that she’s down to earth.

Now all the women are cutting in and trying to get their time with Chris.

Haha…. Chris just said that all of these women would make incredible wives, he wishes he was a polygamist!  Too funny!

Crazy Ashley S goes on this tangent about how people are onions and you have to peal back the layers.  Then she tries to cut in with Chris and another girl and she offers the other girl a yellow rose.  It’s this whole awkward exchange and Chris is smiling politely but he is looking at her like she’s a big crazy ball.  Chris is having a hard time even talking to her.  She obviously drunk or on drugs or both.  But it is just crazy.

Can’t wait for these women to get weeded out.  There are a lot of not-so-bright girls here.  I can sense a few diamonds in the rough, but wow, a majority of them are crazy.

Chris truly is smitten with Britt and he gives her the first impression rose and he kissed her already!  She walks in the room with him arm and arm with the first impression rose and the ladies are just shooting daggers at her.  Jealous!!

Whoa!! Michelle Money just said that she heard a rumor that Britt doesn’t shower!!  Michelle! I love you girl, but you don’t throw things like that out there!

Rose ceremony time!!  Chris is stressing…

Roses go to:

Kaitlyn (surprised she got the first ceremony rose), Jade (one of my favorites so far), Samantha, Ashley I, Tandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Megan…. as he’s handing out roses Tara just can’t keep her composure.  She’s breathing heavy, sweating, tearing up, completely freaking out.  Roses continue…. Alissa, Amber, Juelia, Becca, Trina, (Tara continuing to be a sloppy drunk who’s stumbling and freaking out)… Chris shakes his head and walks out of the room.  Cut to commercial!  UGH!

Chris tells Chris H he was going to pick Tara, but she’s sloppy drunk and now he doesn’t know.  Roses continue again… Makenzie, Tracy, and then he finally picks Tara and puts her out of her misery.  He was afraid he would make a mistake by eliminating her.  Jordan gets the next one and stumbles on the rug (also drunk), Jillian, Whitney, Carly, final rose goes to…. Ashely S….. whaaaat?!!!  I thought for SURE she’d be sent home!!!  He really does like the drunk girls!

Oh! Thought it was over, but Kimberly walks back in and asks Chris if she can speak with him!  And why is it so light outside if it was so dark while the limos were pulling up?  Is it like 6am or something?  What kind of Hollywood trickery is this?!  We’ll find out what happens with Kimberly next week!