Chris closeup

Chris is sleeping and in sneaks Jimmy Kimmel of all people.  Chris’ response “What the f….?!”  Haha  Jimmy assures him they are going to start an amazing journey together.

At the ladies’ house, Chris Harrison explains that there will be another man in their lives this week… Jimmy.  In walks Jimmy and the girls giggle and scream.  Jimmy says there’s a new rule in the house.  Any time you say the word “amazing” as they do OFTEN on the show (Jimmy usually keeps track of this on his late night TV show) then you have to put a dollar in the jar.  “By the end, we should be able to buy this fantastic house” Jimmy jokes.

the-bachelor-chris-kaitlyns-costcoJimmy leaves the first date card.  “Dear Kaitlyn, you and Chris are about to join an exclusive club.”  Also something about high ceilings, hors d’oevers and sweeping view.  The limo then takes Kaitlyn and Chris to Costco!!  Kaitlyn looks alarmed that they’re actually getting out of the limo there.

 

They then read a note from Jimmy said that this is what normal couples do with their time.  He instructed them to pick up something to cook him for dinner and also gave them a list of things to buy from him, here’s a few: beef jerky, jeans size 32, and enough ketchup to fill a hot tub.

Back at Chris’ place, they begin to make dinner together.  They get to talking and Kaitlyn goes on and on about how she actually liked how normal it was.  She can do crazy stuff another time.  Yeah right, she was totally disappointed…. I think she’s just saying that because she knows that’s the right thing to say.

Jimmy joins Chris and Kaitlyn on the date and starts questioning Kaitlyn and Chris questions that make them uncomfortable…. including questions about the “fantasy suite.” Jimmy asked Kaitlyn if she would be mad if Chris had sex with all three final girls in the fantasy suite if she ends up being the one he ends up with.  She said no, that she understands the need to test drive before making the decision.  Completely awkward conversation.  Jimmy’s advice to Chris was to have sex with as many women as possible before the show is over.

Back at the mansion, the second date card arrives: “Britt, Jillian, Becca, Tracy, Makenzie, Kelsey, Amber, Ashley S, Juelia, Samantha, Nikki, and Carly – Are you ready to meet some REAL party animals?”

Jimmy hands Chris a rose to hand out to Kaitlyn and he launches into a speech and Jimmy keeps interrupting and teasing Chris.  It was pretty funny.  Of course Chris gave the rose to Kaitlyn and she accepted it, obviously.  Date night ends with them making out in the hot tub and Jimmy sneaked in with them.

Back at the mansion, Jillian is working out like crazy.  The girls say she works out all day long.  Again her crotch area is censored out and I truly believe it’s just because Jordan (I think it was) last week said she’s hairy all over.  She’s wearing boy shorts, I really don’t think anything was probably sticking out.  The Bachelor producers/editors are just poking fun at her now.

hoedown throwdownThe next day, Jimmy takes Chris and the dates to a farm.  “Hoedown Throwdown” Jimmy says is the game of the date.  There are 5 different tasks.  First corn shucking, then finding eggs in a chicken coop, crack it in a frying pan without breaking the yolk, then milking goats – fill the mason jar, then drink it, then shoveling manure, then wrestle a greased pig and place him in his pen.  The girls take off and start shucking corn, then race to the chicken coop.  Makenzie gets disqualified for breaking the egg yolk.  Jillian starts chasing around the boy goat trying to milk it.  Carly was the first to chug the goat milk.  Kelsey has a problem chugging the milk.  Carly, Kelsey, and Jillian are the final three chasing pigs around.  Jillian’s butt is being censored out again the whole time.   But Carly ends up winning it all!  So Chris and Carly get to dress like farmers and have their picture taken together.  Chris says he respects a girl like that that can put everything into that sort of task and have a great attitude about it.

The evening portion of the date has started and it’s cocktail hour and Carly immediately pulls him aside.  And she does this cheesy “You are a man and I am a woman…” and goes in for a kiss.  Amber then asks Chris to dance.  Totally awkward without any music, but they start kissing.  Then he kisses Jillian.  Then Makenzie confronts him about kissing everyone.  Chris starts sweating and says that he’s just being himself and it’s part of a relationship and he’s just putting himself out there.  “Yeah, I was just curious…” Makenzie says.  Then she goes back to the girls and relays the conversation to them and is just very giggly and immature about it all.  He then talks with Becca and he goes in for a kiss and she kind of denies him and just gives him a hug.  She said she just doesn’t want to rush anything.  “I need to earn it!” he says.  She says in her interview “I just hope you don’t need to kiss to get a rose.”  Good for her for not kissing though and doing what feels right for her.  If you do need to kiss to get a rose then she still did the right thing.  That’s not the right kind of guy then.

Back at the house again… Date card: “Dear Whitney: Today is going to be fun – no whining!”  Whitney begins to cry, she’s really excited to finally get to spend time with him.

On the date again… Chris greets the group of ladies and is going to hand out the date rose.  He gives it to…. Becca!  So therefore you don’t need to kiss to get a rose!   Good for her!  Carly is not happy she didn’t get it.

Chris and WhitneyWhitney and Chris take a limo ride out to wine country and have a little picnic together.  “Roll the Cob” is what Chris says he’s looking for…. someone who can just “Shoot the shit” and make friends with anyone.  They then spot a couple having a wedding.  Whitney talks Chris into crashing the wedding.  Chris suggests changing before they crash it.  So they get all dolled up.  And the cameras stay way back so it doesn’t blow their cover.  Their plan is to tell everyone the taping is done, they’re engaged.  Chris was really nervous but Whitney was just able to roll with it.  Whitney was great and so confident and cute.    How cool would it be having the Bachelor crash your wedding and have portions of your reception on national TV?!  Nick and Shannon are lucky! Chris seems very smitten with her.  I feel like she’s the front runner as far as who he could take home to mom and spend the rest of his life with, not just spend the night with. He gives her the date rose and says that she made the date.

Chris and Jimmy showerNext morning…  Chris and Jimmy are seen showering together.  Jimmy tells them there isn’t going to be a cocktail party and instead there will be a pool party and Chris will be there in one hour.  Juelia takes Chris aside during the pool party to talk to him her late husband committing suicide.  She ends up telling him this horrible story and just sobbing about it all.  It was really heavy and Chris doesn’t say much of anything but hugs her and comforts her.  He tells her her daughter’s going to be fine because she’s got a great, strong mom.  The way she talks reminds me so much of Shane Lamas from that Brittish Bachelor season… what was his name?  Matthew or something.  Anyway, she’s like a younger Shane Lamas.  I don’t think she has as much depth as what he’s looking for but I don’t think he will cut her this week.

jillian censored buttHe then sits with Britt, and they make out and make the other girls jealous.  Jade then takes a walk with Chris to get a tour of Chris’ place.  Jillian with her censored bikini decides to wait for him in his hot tub.  Jade and Chris then lay down on his bed and make out… Jillian… still in the hot tub.  So Jade leaves them and Chris joins Jillian.  Then other girls sneak up and join them. Jillian basically tells them to go away for awhile.  Jillian is just too manly… she scares me.  Meanwhile Ashley I, Makenzie, and Megan are spying on them and see them making out so they decide to crash the hot tub.  Ashley I. gets really upset that Jillian’s not leaving and not letting her have any time with him.  She walks away and starts crying.

Finally Chris comes in the mansion full of girls and pulls Ashley I aside.  They try to talk about it but Ashley starts laughing/crying and it’s really awkward.  Chris said that he felt it was awkward too and he doesn’t always know how to react.  He hugs her and then they start making out. Ugh the kissing noises are so yucky.

Rose ceremony: roses go to… Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Britt, Megan, Carly, Ashley S (really?!!  She’s CRAZY), Nikki, Jillian, one rose left….. goes to…. Ashley I.  Those going home are Amber and two girls I don’t even remember seeing before….

Next week’s episode looks good!!

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