Bachelorettes 2015

I have said it before, I’m not crazy about this season’s twist.  In case you missed it, this season starts off with two Bachelorettes: Kaitlyn and Britt, and then the men will decide which Bachelorette stays for the season.  These poor women, I don’t know why they would choose to put themselves through the possible rejection yet again on national television.  This time they won’t be rejected by just one man, but several men.  They’re once again begging to be picked.  As Kaitlyn said on last season’s “After the Final Rose” episode, her reaction to this twist was “well that’s not ideal!”

With all that being said, I will agree it makes for deliciously good TV.  Since the first promos I’ve seen, I have just been chomping at the bit for the season to start.  The drama, the heartbreak, the awkwardness, the cheesiness… all of it… I cannot tear myself away from this show!  Oh and for the record I’m completely rooting for Kaitlyn!!

So let’s get started! Chris Harrison explains the setup of this season that I described above.  Then a quick montage of the two women on Chris Soules’s season of The Bachelor to remind us of their best and worst sides from the show.  If you saw last season you’re quickly remembering Kaitlyn’s inappropriate jokes and Britt’s uncontrollable crying.

Now it’s time to meet the men!

JohnathonJonathon, 33 from Detroit, MI.  Please don’t be crazy!!  Every time they have someone on from my home state of Michigan, they’re absolutely nuts! (Kelsey Poe = Exhibit A). Has a 5 year old, Scott. He seems very down to earth and loving.  He’s aiming for Britt at this point.

Joe Joe, 28, Columbia, KY, Insurance Agent.  Seems nice and genuine, but there’s something about him that makes me think he might be a party guy.  We’ll have to see.

JoshJosh, 27, Chicago, IL, Law school graduate, but to pay the jobs he does the “best job on earth”… stripper.  No no no… he is not a guy you can bring home to your family.

BradyBrady, 33, Nashville, TN, Singer/Songwriter.  He gearing for Britt.  He seems a bit shy, soft-spoken.  As much as I love singers, they usually come across cheesy on this show.  I hope he will be romantic without being cheesy.

JoshuaJoshua, 31, Industrial Welder, ID, Kuna, ID.  Looks a lot like Chris from Arlington, IA.  Not a whole lot there.  Super cute… has beautiful blue eyes.  He’s interested in Kaitlyn.

IanIan, 28, Executive Recruiter, Venice Beach/L.A, CA.  Ran track at Princeton.  Was hit by a car, was told he could not run again, but has rehabilitated his body to be able to do it.  He’s super interested in Kaitlyn and feels she is genuine.

JaredJared, 26, Restaurant Manager, Warwick, RI.  He says if he were a superhero he’d “go into this things as LoveMan”.  Umm… what???!  He’s going to rescue the bachelorette from all the evil men in the world.  He wants to date Kaitlyn for her sense of humor. There is a major creep factor with him!!

TonyTony, 35, Healer, St Louis, MO.  Specializes in “Flexibility therapy.”  Describes himself as unique and antisocial at times.  A very “Zen” dude.  Likes to meditate.

Ben ZBen Z, 26, Personal Trainer, San Jose, CA.  Ex-football player, tried out for the NFL.  His mom passed away when he was 14 years old.  He likes both Britt and Kaitlyn.

So we’ve met 9 of the guys so far in their hometown package interview.  Now we’re getting to Britt and Kaitlyn arriving at the mansion and about to meet the men in person.  It is so awkward and Britt is giggling and trying to act like “this is great!  I’m fine! This process works!  I’m excited!” and Kaitlyn is more real with it by showing her nerves, stating it’s going to be awkward, but she just wants to be herself and hope that that’s what the guys want.

First out of the limo is Ben H, 26, software salesman from, Denver, CO.  He speaks for a moment to Kaitlyn, but then quickly goes to Britt and spends more time with her.  He says in his interview later that Britt just took his breath away.  Up next is my man Jonathon from Detroit! Goes straight for Britt and makes a connection with her.  Then out comes Clint, 27, architectural engineer from Chicago, IL… again goes straight to Britt.  Ryan B, Realtor, from Wellington, FL, comes out and says “hey Disney princess” to Britt.   Blah!!  Creepy Jared comes out, shows his LoveMan shirt under his suit, and goes straight to Britt.  Kaitlyn keeps getting more and more insecure as the men seem to pass over her and go straight to Britt.  This is torture to watch!!  I can’t help but root for Kaitlyn!  Such a crappy situation to be put in.  (I realize she had a choice not to do the show at all, but seriously, humiliation or not, it would be hard to pass up the chance to be on The Bachelorette).

Brady, the singer, then gets out and says he feels like he’s a 7th grade dance.  He the bee-lines it for Britt.  Britt says she feels bad being so excited because Kaitlyn isn’t acting quite like herself and doesn’t seem as happy.  Really?  How is she supposed to feel happy in that situation?!  Cory, residential developer, from Pearland, TX, gives a quick hug to Kaitlyn and then goes straight for Britt.  Ian, the runner, tells Kaitlyn he’s looking forward to getting to know her and says something in her ear but I can’t quite catch what it was even after rewinding it.  He makes it clear though that he’s there for her.  Oh, turns out he said “I wanted it to be you.”  Awww.  JJ, former investment banker, is next up and cracks a joke with Kaitlyn that is similar to the one she cracked with Chris Soules on her first night on The Bachelor.  Kaitlyn says this gives her hope that some of the guys are here for her.   Ryan, M, junkyard specialist (what??), says he’s obsessed with Kaitlyn.  Bradley and Daniel come out and make the girls laugh.  Then stripper himself, Josh, comes out and starts working his stripper moves on the girls right away!!  Kaitlyn laughs in her interview and says “Britt, you can HAVE this one!!”  Seriously!

Joe, the insurance agent, goes straight for Kaitlyn and gives her some moonshine.  She said it’s great.  Justin, fitness trainer, has a bouquet of balloons and then sucks some helium and then speaks to Kaitlyn.  Britt is now starting to get jealous with the guys that are giving Kaitlyn gifts and more attention than what she’s getting.  But then Tanner comes out and gives Britt a gift… and brought her tissues in case she cries again, but she says it’s just a reminder that she was “the cryer” last season.

Shawn BShawn B, another physical trainer… Britt seems to have an instant attraction to.  But THEN – plot twist – he goes to Kaitlyn and tells her that she’s the reason he’s here!!  He’s got a Ryan Gossling look about him. Super cute!  He walks inside and then Kaitlyn runs inside the house.  She just tells them Hi and that she shouldn’t be much longer.  Britt feels this wasn’t fair and was almost cheating in a way.  I say all is fair in love and war!

David and Corey both come out of the limo and go straight for Kaitlyn and make her laugh.  Britt is feeling more and more insecure.  I’m sure Carly is at home saying “I love to watch her squirm!” (Love you Carly!) Then Tony, the healer, (who looks like he has a black eye) comes out and goes directly to Britt.  He recites this speech about love, blah blah blah, then goes directly to Kaitlyn and says word for word the same speech!!!  Hilarious!

Meanwhile, inside the house, Ryan M is getting really drunk and inappropriate.  Loud, annoying, and aggressive.. not fun.

Then this dude, Shawn E, who is an “amateur sex coach” pulls up in a hot tub car or “car pool” if you will.  The entire car is a hot tub!!  This guy is soaked.  But THEN the even better part is that Ryan M comes out and says “Your car sucks!!” Kaitlyn says if there was a worst impression rose she would give it to Ryan M.

Then a guy comes out in a cupcake!!  A cupcake-mobile.  And it’s surprisingly fast!  It’s Chris, a dentist.  He says he wanted to do something sweet for the ladies.

Chris Harrison then greets the ladies and tells them that the men will decide tonight who stays and who goes.  Britt was nodding so fast and so much that I thought her head was going to fall off!  I find her to be so fake.

So the girls walk into the house for the cocktail party and Kaitlyn immediately says she is going to start off with a joke.  “Knock-knock” (who’s there) “Two Bachelorettes” (two Bachelorettes who?) “That’s the joke!” and starts laughing.  Britt says this is the opportunity to voice what you’re here for and that’s what’s different between her and Kaitlyn.  Britt tells the guys she’s there to find a best friend.  Kaitlyn is super nervous.  Ian makes the first move with Kaitlyn and calls her outside to talk.  So the guys each sit down with either Kaitlyn or Britt and try to make the most of their time.  I believe it’s Corey who asks the guys “now do you pick the girl you like the most or do you pick the girl who likes YOU the most, because at the end of the day, that’s what matters.  That’s how you’re going to stay longer.”  But it’s not about staying a long time it’s about finding true love!  Duh!!  😉

Chris Harrison announces that the voting boxes are now open and once the guys have an answer as to who they want as the Bachelorette, they can vote by placing a rose inside the woman’s box of their choice.  Tony, without Chris even finishing his speech, heads straight for the voting room to vote for Britt.

So the women now feel like they have to prove themselves to the men and Britt starts clamming up and having a hard time carrying on a conversation with the men.  Once she gets more comfortable though, she’s really good at flirting with the men and making them feel safe and comfortable.  This is such a nail biter!

Ryan M is plastered drunk and being inappropriate…. almost getting in fights with the guys.  Then he grabs Kaitlyn’s butt and the men get more upset with him.  Then he strips and gets in the pool…. because that’s what drunk guys do.  So obnoxious.  After a few more antics, a bouncer looking guy comes out and tells Ryan that Chris Harrison would like to speak with him.  Chris tells Ryan that it’s best if he goes home because he’s clearly not there for the right reasons.  Okay, I understand that him touching Kaitlyn’s butt was crossing the line and maybe he should be cut from the show because of that, but how many sloppy drunk women did they let fly through last season for the first several episodes?  They clearly weren’t there for the right reasons either, why did they keep them around?  I wish that Chris would have stated it was because he touched Kaitlyn’s butt and that wasn’t appropriate.  But oh well.  The annoying drunk guy is gone!  Chris addresses the men and says it was for a myriad of reasons, including inappropriate behavior with Kaitlyn.

The men continue to vote and it just seems so even between Britt and Kaitlyn!  Shawn and Kaitlyn further their connection.  Shawn shares a picture his nephew drew for her of Shawn and Kaitlyn together.  Then Brady and Britt share a connection, or a fake connection.  Ugh… if she’s chosen I’m not sure I can handle a whole season of her fakeness.  Brady “So I prayed…” Britt “Oh! Is faith important to you?  No way!! ME TOO!!”  So fake.

Chris Harrison announces that all the votes have been cast and now they need to tally them.  And now I just KNOW they’re not going to tell us tonight which Bachelorette was chosen!!  I can just feel it!  Not much time left in the show.  Yup… TO BE CONTINUED……  you’re killing me, smalls!!

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