As one friend put it “we only suffer through the Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons in order to get to Bachelor in Paradise.” Seriously, this is where the good reality TV drama lies. I know the show is ridiculous, laughable, crazy, but it’s still highly entertaining. From the show’s teasers, it looks like this season will be just as good as last season of Bachelor in Paradise and previous seasons of Bachelor Pad.
The premiere starts out introducing this year’s cast of Bachelor in Paradise. Ashley I… the crying virgin from Chris Soules’s season. Ashley says she wishes her sister, Lauren, could come. “She’s the slut version of me,” Ashley says. Then there’s Jared from Kaitlyn’s season who is still hung up on Kaitlyn. Ashley S, the crazy, possibly drug addict, girl from Chris Soules’s season. Tanner from Kaitlyn’s season…. the guy who never had a chance with Kaitlyn. Jade, the playboy model from Chris’s season as well. Ahhh weather alert cut into the show! Sorry if I miss someone. Tenley, from Jake’s season, who I am so excited to see on this show! She is a beautiful soul… I’ve been following her on Facebook. She was with Kiptyn for many years off an on after they both appeared on Bachelor Pad. Now he just had a baby with a girl he met shortly after Tenley and he broke up.
Jade is the first one to arrive to Paradise. Then Jared follows. Oh those two would be cute together, wouldn’t they?! Jade and Jared meet each other and Jared immediately takes her hand. Then Tenley then Carly from Chris’s season shows up. Oh Carly’s on!! Love her!! Then Jonathon from Kaitlyn’s season, and then Tanner. Then Michael T….. ugh… was he the wrestler? Then Ashley shows up and with her sister Lauren. Chris Harrison pretends to be shocked, but we all know he knows what’s going on. Tenley kind of freaks when she sees Ashley I and says “Noooo.” The other girls think it’s not fair that Ashley gets to bring her sister, but the guys are very excited to have Lauren there.
Mikey takes Lauren aside right away and starts going after her. She seems very receptive to it, which is good for Mikey because the other girls were not going for him. Juelia from Chris’s season then walks in and they all observe Mikey and Lauren in the ocean together. Kirk from Ali’s season arrives…. I don’t even remember him!
Lauren then tells Ashley that she doesn’t like Mikey and that she likes Jared, but she’s willing to “give” Jared to Ashley. Dan Cox then arrives as well… I can’t place him. Then Jillian comes and the sisters freak out! Apparently Jillian has “great new boobs” according to Lauren…. they’re great friends, I guess. Carly seems to be digging on Kirk. Jade says she hopes there’s no douchebags and then out walks JJ. The girls seem completely put off that he’s there. Ugh!!! Weather alert breaking into my broadcast again!! I know we’re having a severe storm, but I need to watch this!!! 🙂
Broadcast comes back on and Ashley S walks on. It looks like that is the cast for now. Chris Harrison greets the cast and lets them know how it’s going to go. At each rose ceremony, if you’re not coupled up, you will be going home. This week the men will be the ones handing out the roses. If a girl doesn’t get a rose, she will be going home. He then drops the bomb that if one of the sisters is picked, then they both get to stay. They are a package deal. That’s a bizarre twist!
Then Chris invites the cast to come with him for a surprise. They’re sitting on benches on the beach and everyone is confused. Then more guests start coming and sitting on the other side of the aisle and the cast put it together that it’s a wedding, but they don’t know who. Then they see that it’s Marcus and they figure out it’s Marcus and Lacey getting married in the very spot where they met last year! Lacey looks absolutely stunning. Chris Harrison is the officiant and the bride and groom wrote their own vows. Very beautiful, and the majority of the cast (at least the women) are choked up. They are now married!! Lacey threw the bouquet and Juelia caught it.
So the weather alert just cut out 20 minutes of Bachelor in Paradise! You’re killing me WZZM13!! Finally the show comes back on and Ashley I is getting a date card. The guys are speculating that it’s going to be Jared but Jared doesn’t look all that thrilled about it. Lauren coaches Ashley on how she should ask Jared out on a date. This is really annoying. The whole sister thing is annoying. Finally Ashley gets up the nerve to ask Jared and Jared agrees to go but he doesn’t seem all that thrilled. Ashley says she has an Aladdin complex because everyone tells her she looks like princess Jasmine. She thinks Jared looks like Aladdin and she says, “If he turns out to be my Aladdin, he can rub the shit out of my lamp any day.” Oh boy.
Jade is a little bummed because she was having an interest in Jared and Ashley I has taken him, at least for now. So she hopes they don’t have much fun.
On their date, they take a dune buggy through the mud of the jungle area. They arrive at a public beach and go swimming in the ocean together.
Meanwhile Ashley S is making a connection with a bird. The crazy is starting to come out as she plays with this bird.
Back on the date Ashley asks Jared about Kaitlyn. He said it was really hard but he’s learned a lot from the experience. Ashley says it was a great date… Jared looks like he’s put Ashley in the friend zone.
Next date card arrives “Jade, Choose a man to take on your first date in paradise.” Jade says she’s tied between Jared and Tanner. Jared’s still on a date with Ashley I, so she doesn’t know what to do. But while Jade is trying to decide, Ashley and Jared come back from their date. Jade ultimately decides on Tanner though.
Jade says that Tanner is so handsome and romantic. Tanner says he’s learned from Kaitlyn’s season that he needs to be more open. Tanner brings up the Playboy shoot and says that it doesn’t bother him at all and he thinks it’s cool she was open about it.
Back on the resort, suddenly Ashley S is being taken away in a stretcher in an ambulance. Dan joins her in the ambulance. Nobody knows exactly what’s going on. Nothing was caught on camera. Seems very suspicious to me. I still think drugs must be involved with that woman…. whether it’s prescription or illegal drugs or whatever.
On Tanner and Jade’s date, Tanner says he feels lucky to be the one that Jade picked when all of the guys are interested in her. They look happy already and kissing. He says he feels more of a connection with Jade in one night than he felt in the whole season with Kaitlyn. Jade then suggests they strip down to their skivvies and get in the river by where their date was.
Back at the resort Carly and Kirk are already hooking up. I’m so happy for Carly! Then in walks someone new! Clare!!! Chris Harrison hands her the date card and says she gets to pick what guy to go on a date with.
To be continued tomorrow!!! And throughout the rest of the season looks like there’s a lot of tears being shed!